Exit Strategies

[RichK]

I watched a short film years ago on "The Shooting Gallery" where a man tried to hang himself by roping to the ceiling, standing on a block of ice and waiting for the ice to melt. It was very very funny.

Anyway, bit of a morbid thread, just wondered if anyone has seen or thought of a comic, weird and wonderful way for a character to do themselves in, pull the RIP cord, as it were. I know there's the Darwin Awards out there in webland, with tales of freakish accidental deaths, but how about freakish deliberate ones?

I must point out that I'm not looking for ideas to put into practice!
;D ;D ;D

[wiggy]

i once did a comic strip about a depressing mate of mine, in it he tried to top himself firstly he tried to hang from a tree but his rope was too long and he broke is ankle, then he tried to gas himself in his car but ran out of petrol, after a few more unfortunate attempts he rides along the canal with a winning lottery ticket in his hand, he got over excited and then hit a pebble went head first into the cut just as the locks were closing, he got his head stuck in the lock and drowned. hes still alive really though but still depressed as his wife just left him.

[flashpointharry]

How about this: you go onto the roof of a towerblock with a noose that's 6' long and made out of chicken wire. Tie one end to something sturdy on the roof, slip the noose end over your neck, then use some No More Nails to glue your hands to your face - right over right-hand ear, left over left-hand ear. Then - making sure there's something soft on the ground underneath you so your corpse doesn't get all monglified - you jump off, and hopefully what'd happen is once the slack runs out on the wire, the noose pulls tight and you get decapitated before you hit the deck. Then anyone who didn't see you fall would find a headless corpse holding its own noggin, and think you topped yourself by yanking your head off.

I think I might've put a bit too much thought into that one I reckon one of the best suicide gags you'll see on film is right at the end of Series 7: The Contenders. "Oh shit!"

richk said:

I must point out that I'm not looking for ideas to put into practice!
;D ;D ;D

Haha, just remember...

Suicide isn't painless
It hurts like hell
It's set aside for the famous
A little suicide sells

So nothing lasts forever
But then nothing ever did
It's big but it's not clever
(And it's really not that big)

So no more tears
You're a big boy now
We'll have a few more beers
We'll sort it out somehow

;D

[RichK]

That is class! Incredibly well thought out.. I'm loving the afterthought too.. in other words, how things will appear to the discoverer, genius. Well worth starting a bzar thread for!

Wiggy, breaking an ankle due to too long a rope is brilliant too! Dark humour, guys.

[Hyde]

Hey Flashpoint you mean The Contenders as in the boxing show? I remember that small black guy shot himself after losing his fight, at the end he was all like saying he needs to just move on and this wont break him down and he had a wife and kid which he loved but then it said his name and RIP I was like woah what the fuck!

[Dave]

No.. Series 7: The Contenders is a film.... like a spoof reality TV thing which runs along the same lines as "Liberty City Survivor"

I have seen it, but no lasting impression has it left. Can't even recall the suicide attempt at the end.

[Tom]

I had a mate who did try to top himself after his girlfriend left him.

He tied a noose around the towel rack in his bathroom and leant forward onto his toes to give it weight. He was trying to slowly strangle himself, until he pulled the boody rack from the wall.

What makes this funny is that rather than getting stressed about not dying he was paniccking about the plaster all over the floor and the big holes in the wall. What was his mum going to say?

I mentioned that, had he been successful, I think that finding a dead son is slightly worse than a broken towel rack.

"You don't know my mum" was the response.

He's happily married now, and therefore well and truly over the ex.