*FILM* Undertow (available as download for 1 week)

[Dave]

It would be interesting to hear which bits you think could have been better Ria.

[Tom]

*SPOILERS*

Hmmm....

It reminded me of Julian Schnabel in places. The photographer in you showed, that was for sure - you had great composition and you selected some principally smart shots (especially the police line and the lace of the dress).

The story was a slow-burner, which was lovely, and I don't think that criticism of that can be upheld. The twist (which it is) was delivered well, but (controversially for some maybe) I think you missed an opportunity at the start of it to develop the diver more. I don't mean by much - literally just a scratch more of a man that dives for bodies as a living and what that does to a psyche. It obviously would have some impact, so I don't think we get enough exposure of that in the expression. The point being that when he sees this girl under the water, it would be a beauty that should not be disturbed, or whatever it is that motivates him to go back and replace the missing shoe. What I mean is, as beautiful as this film truly is, the motivation of the story is ever so slightly under worked (and I mean by a hair's breadth), so what looks fantastic (and sounds tremendous) is missing slightly in the execution of story.

It's a really hard thing to explain, but I just think you could go a quarter-inch more into the diver's thoughts. This would have been in a expression in his face alone - that would have done it. But instead the ending is left ambiguous as to why she's more than just another body. Does that make sense?

Irrespective of all that, I do think you have a fantastic film that WILL make festivals. Not sure which ones are best suited, but I would suggest you start by sending it to Filmstock down in Luton - and do it quick (I think it closes soon).

The pure nature of what you've made still makes it a stand-out film, and the photography and sound design are really it's strongest points. The story is good, but when you're delivering that well on the production value, you really need to give the story that little eeny bit more.

Of course, I heard about this film a while ago, and so am glad to finally see it. It was beyond what I expected, so well done and be very proud of what you've achieved.

Tom.

[Ria]

Hi again,

Thanks for the comments Tom, and the tip on the festival. Looks like i've missed the deadline for Filmstock but i'll hopefully catch at least one or two elsewhere. If anyone else has any other suggestions i'd be really glad to have them.

I appreciate you opinions on it too. I understand what your getting at entirely, and I think your pretty dead on about it being ever so slightly off. From the script onwards it was always a bit of a balancing act between it being ambiguious and holding stuff back, but also providing enough 'clues' to make it satisfying. Also, from a more practical point of view there was inevitably stuff that we just didn't quite get on the shoot that might have helped a shade, most of which could be explained by inexperience at directing/producing I think. It was a pretty steep learning curve. That's why I kind of regard it as a bit of a near miss, I just know that with a few tiny adjustments I could have really got what I was after.

[Ria]

By the way Salv, drop me a PM with your address and i'll get a DVD to you no problem.

[Tom]

That's the thing - it's TINY adjustments, but it's f*cking good still

Try DNA Film Festival in Toronto. They're small, but I know Aaron - the guy who runs it - and they have an amazing venue. I know he'd love this movie.

Cheers - Tom.

[salvador]

Sept 6, 2008 18:34:27 GMT Tom said:

That's the thing - it's TINY adjustments, but it's f*cking good still

Try DNA Film Festival in Toronto. They're small, but I know Aaron - the guy who runs it - and they have an amazing venue. I know he'd love this movie.

Cheers - Tom.

I actually contacted Aaron from DNA mate and he's stopped the festival since the birth of his twins!

Oh well...

Sending you a PM now Ria, thanks very much, looking forward to it!

[Tom]

He stopped?! No way! That venue was AWESOME! Real shame. I'll have to see who else is running their festp. I know Dereel is a good bet. Go on Withoutabox.com and take a look...

[Ria]

Hey. Just been on withoutabox. Great site, I'm ashamed to say i'd not heard of it before! Cheers for that.

[Tom]

That's no problem - it's going to make the film festival thing about a million times easier... Tom.

[Lord Thribb of Hubris OBE]

Hi Ria,

Superb film, well done.
I agree with Tom about your excellent composition, as a stills photographer, such beautifully framed shots are an important feature for me.

I look forward to seeing your future projects.

Paul

BTW I see my local diving club gets a mention in the credits. ;D

[RydCook]

Sorry I haven't watched this yet, sounds great. Got the file though and will watch ASAP.

[Ria]

Hi again,

Just wanted to post a quick thanks to everyone who found time to watch the film and for all your comments and feedback, its really appreciated. So glad I was able to share the film with such a knowledable audience. Hope to return the favour in future!

[RydCook]

Hey Ria,

Just got round to seeing this! Finding it hard to keep up with all the films popping up on here at the moment! Might be cos there is so many... or cos i'm keeping more busy on my own stuff... but hey... i'll stop yapping about myself in your wonderful film's thread.

I liked it... beautiful photography, although I do have to agree with Dave on the reservoir shot... I think infinite focus, and then a shift to focus on the man would have been much nicer.... and without his pause too. A great performance, the underwater stuff was great... never seen anything like it.

But I didn't love it.... it's clearly a thinker. I love thinker films. But I think Tom gets it spot on above... there's not enough there for me. I wanted more clues, more stuff to think about. You clearly had a lot planned and hadn't got some more stuff shot as you've said above, that happens to all film-makers! I don't think you can ever be COMPLETELY happy with a film after you've made it. If you were.. you wouldn't learn anything! But yes, don't worry about not being overly happy with it is what I'm saying. Be proud of what you like about it, and what you feel you have achieved. it's certainly a very ambitious film, and you've pulled it off very well!

So yeah nice one. Sorry I couldn't give more criticisms, I've sort of just agreed with other people's comments! Look forward to more stuff! Get it in the festivals!!

[Ria]

Hiya Ryd,

Thanks loads for watching, and for your comments. All fair points I reckon.

I've taken the link down just now, but if anyone else wants to see it in future just drop me a message.

Ta

Ria

[bleahaa]

Hey,

I saw this at the Napier show in Filmhouse, and I admit it kind of got by me. But I downloaded it and watched it again and could remember it quite well. There is something there, a subtle beauty and it's genuinely memorable (and excellently shot and edited).

I think it's perhaps a disadvantage of film festivals/ short film screenings, that sometimes the subtle, more considered film can be buried to the back of the mind by maybe having films which are vastly different from it playing before or after (or both). It's the only explanation I have for it. Or maybe it was the alcohol... ;D

I'm starting to appreciate it more and more when a film uses no music, and that sounds can have rhythm and as much atmosphere as any orchestral instrument. It works brilliantly here.

I look forward to seeing future films from you.