*FILM* Small Town (one of my short films)

[RydCook]

Hey guys i am a film maker and have made a few shorts and plan to make many more anyway here's a link to my last film Small Town (the name has no reference to Small Time at all.. i haven't even seen it! i know i should!) anyway I've had mixed reviews.. some hate it some love it.. all i can say is don't take it to seriously and give me some constructive criticism please cheers guys. i plan to make my next film in a few days. here's the link:

www.putfile.com/media.php?n=Small-Townquick

p.s. on the page it may take a lil while to load be patient!

laters -RyD

[Dave]

Ahh... it always cheers me up to see a new link to a short film posted on here!

I enjoyed it. Kind of a Stand by Me-ish vibe... well not really, but I'm sure the comparison will make a bit of sense to anyone who watches it.
What was the music used in the film?
Were you in the film?

Not the best acting in the world there, and pretty much the bare minimum of dialogue.

The direction and editing told the story well though I thought and the 'shock' made me jump like a big girl.

If you have time, get some more of your shorts online. I love watching them even if no-one else does.
That site on which you have put this short seems very helpful for storng files online.. I must add it to my favourites!

Oh yeah.. and the video of Shane's talk that you have?? Any chance of getting a copy of some sort so I can put it (in whole or editted) on the site? I will make sure with Shane that it is okay to do so of course.

[Dave]

Just had another viewing and have a couple of points. Constructive criticism hopefully.

To make the dialogue seem more natural, and less like it is spoken for the camera, you should have the characters talking before and after they get to the main lines you want to be heard. Not explaining myself too well, but an example is, when the lads are first seen walking in the woods, and one mentions about the fact they heard that someone was killed in these woods, etc... they only start talking when they are close to the camera and are dead silent as they approach the camera and silent again once they have said the lines for the camera.
Ideally, the lads would naturally be larking about and talking crap throughout the whole shot, with it not even all clearly audible, but when they get to the key lines they will be in ear shot.
Hope that makes some sense. Obviously it is not applicable for all situations.


The second thing I noticed is when the camera changes to a POV shot of the guy who is going off for a piss. I don't think this change of perspective was necessary there.
When the shot changes to the POV shot, I initially thought that it was perhaps the view of someone else in the woods stalking them!

Oh yeah.. what was the point of the lines:
Lad one picks up hammer, "What's this?"
Lad two, "It's a hammer"

Don't want to be pedantic or anything, but it seems stupid. It could have worked if the second lad was being sarcastic in his response perhaps.

[RyD22 fogort to login lol]

hey thanks a lot! thats some great constructive criticism, exactly what i was looking for! some people who see the film just go yeah rubbish.. blah.

I wasn't actually in the film no. my mates aren't really the best actors lol! but i wasn't really gonna make them great actors in a day so i just went with it.

lol that gunshot made my mum jump out of her skin! yeah putfile.com is awesome! I'm definitely gonna put the rest of my shorts up on there soon.. I'll let you know when.

yeah the video i have of the interview is VHS i can't do it at home but i can at work (i work as a media technician) but i don't start work till sept so I'll do it when i get time at work, get it onto dv.. then I'll send you the file.. hmm.. we'll talk nearer the time.

hey thanks for the advise about the dialogue! that will certainly help me for future films. this film was the first one i had done that actually had dialogue so i was a bit clueless. but your advice is certainly right.. I'll give it a go on my next film with dialogue.

the POV shot probably should have come later.. maybe a track behind him before? might have made sense then.. but i see what you mean.

lol the hammer line.. i know seems very unprofessional but i left it in for a laugh lol, but i know its unbelievably bad.

thanks again for all this criticism/advice it will definitely help me for the future. i should get some more films up soon, when i do I'll let you know.

-RyD

[PatrickCoyle]

I just watched it. Thought it was very good! Some of the locations/shots really elevated it. And I had the same trouble in Bro with the not-talented-actors, due to using friends, but it was serviceable in your film. I thought the gunshot was done very well. It's a technique I'll probably steal... I was going to go with the "air pressure bullet hit effect" thing but your way works just as well. And the story and mood were nice. Very good effort for a short film. How scripted was it?

Constructive criticism... As you said, it was your first film with dialogue. I think as a director, one of the things you need to work on is assuredness. I agree with Dave, the POV shot was kind of odd and not needed at that point - especially the first, short shot of it. The dialogue itself didn't bother me, but then again I'm the clown that wrote "Don't worry about me, bro, I'm always one step ahead of the game". But your dialogue hit the necessary points, and it is hard when you have unnatural actors - a few lines were misdelivered. "Bear with me" was the one I noticed that on most.

The editing was possibly the thing I picked up on most. Like the putting in of a second or two of that POV shot... And at the end, the shots were great, but I think they were edited too much. There was one shot (I think it was quite low) that showed the grass and the blue sky, and it was beautiful but it was cut to another very quickly. I guess I mean the editing should have been a bit slower, to go along with the music and the "small town" kind of tone. And the sound editing - when you cut within different shots in the same scene, the background sound noticeably changes, which takes us out of the film a bit. I've been plagued by this problem, it's one of the reasons Bro mostly has no ambient sound. It's a problem of using one camcorder and no professional sound equipment.

But those things considered, it was really good. A lot of promise there. I look forward to seeing the next film you put up. Sorry the criticism was longer than the praise, I guess the praise didn't need explaining is all.

[RydCook]

hey thanks Patrick ;D you also give some very good advice about sound editing, it was worse in some places and it has been rectified, for example when the jogger goes into the woods that is one continuous sound with several different shots. that beautiful shot you talk about is my favourite shot from the film! and i agree too, it should have been longer, but i don't think it couldn't have been because the person who was meant to be the dead person was seen in that shot, so i had to cut before he came on which sucks. and slower editing would have suited the mood better, i agree. thanks a lot Patrick much appreciated ;D

laters

_RyD

[RydCook]

mega bump

i'm uploading all my stuff on youtube now cos it seems to be the IN place to watch videos right now. so yeah Small Town my 3rd short film, can now be viewed on YouTube. if ya havn't seen it yet, feel free to leave some feedback (positive of negative, both help!) on the video page or in this thread enjoy. heres the link: