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Post by Live The Dream Productions on Jun 24, 2008 19:31:39 GMT
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Post by RydCook on Jun 25, 2008 8:52:29 GMT
Watched it. To be honest... mostly not that funny. The bit that got me laughing was Brian, some good lines there. Was it scripted or improv? Or both?!
It's a nice idea. A bit more cutting would have made it look better at the beginning or end. Waiting for a camera to pan to someone is boring, and looks rather amateurish... as is tilting up stairs while someone walks up them. There was no hint to where she was going... I only knew because of your description of the film.
Anyway sorry to be so critical... I'm always honest. You've clearly put a lot of effort in to the film and its a nice bit of work. Keep it up.
Ooh and try and challenge yourself with soundtrack next time... Using your favourite music is too easy and if it ever gets the chance to be screened it wont be because of copyrighted music. Maybe try making your own? A friends band?
Look forward to your next film bud.
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Post by Tom on Jun 25, 2008 9:31:50 GMT
Yeah, a student film I'm guessing? Hmm, the problems are obvious - mainly the acting for me. It's a neat idea, but not that well executed. I think it's a little long and the writing could do with some work. But the acting really did make it feel quite stiff and un-engaging.
On the flip-side, the actual production value was clean and straight, so I'm sure it'll get you solid marks if it is a student film. But as ever, develop the writing, get better actors and definitely, don't use uncleared music. It's always a giveaway of an amateur film.
Tom.
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Post by shindig on Jun 25, 2008 11:54:11 GMT
I don't have facebook, by the way. You may consider this a good thing.
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Post by Dave on Jun 25, 2008 12:04:59 GMT
I don't have facebook, by the way. You may consider this a good thing. No Facebook for me either. Shindig, I think that means we both win! |
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Post by Gareth on Jun 25, 2008 20:15:34 GMT
Ryd and tom took the words out of my mouth
the first 1:30 is a complete waste of time and tells the audience fuck all about anything, the credits piss me off aswell
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Post by Dave on Jun 25, 2008 20:47:08 GMT
Ryd and tom took the words out of my mouth the first 1:30 is a complete waste of time and tells the audience fuck all about anything, the credits piss me off aswell Alright! Calm down! That's exactly the kind of thing we don't really want on here. I think the reason so many people are happy to post their work on this forum is because it isn't full of people making comments like that Mr Bowler. That's what the rest of the internet is full of. Tom and Ryd were pretty constructive in their responses... and encouraging. |
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Post by Gareth on Jun 25, 2008 22:02:19 GMT
sorry. I'll try to be more constructive,
the film should start "right we've inputted your data into the system..." cutting the first 1:30
from then on I don't see why we have to see the whole of everyones talking heads, leave just the bits you find funniest intercut with her reaction shots
plus cut the credits right down,
the film will be short snappy and half the length therefore twice as good
(I've came across as a right shit today, apologises, major stress)
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Post by Live The Dream Productions on Jun 26, 2008 0:07:25 GMT
Ryd and tom took the words out of my mouth the first 1:30 is a complete waste of time and tells the audience fuck all about anything, the credits piss me off aswell Ok, this really isn't an amazing piece of film...i admit that. It's really just a fun little project. I put it up on here simply to be seen and possibly recieve some positive/constructive feedback...i didn't think I would have to defend the film. (The first 1.30)...An introduction. It doesn't tell the audience anything about the film, it's not supposed to. It's just a nice little way to include the titles, the lead character and a good piece of music...not speilberg...just for fun. (The creditis)...not to be taken seriously, i'm aware they are not Hollywood stars. It's just nice for the people I used in the film to see their names on the screen next to a shot of them messing up their lines which I thought shows just how unprofessional the film was...AKA-The point. Thank you for the positive feedback...and in the future I would rather hear nothing than "tells the audience fuck all about anything"...keep it to yourself mate. |
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Post by Gareth on Jun 26, 2008 1:25:11 GMT
I wouldn't simply disregard my first comment, if I'd came across that video on youtube it'd have been turned off way before the 1:30 mark, if you don't do something to grip the viewer in the 1st minute of an online short they'll just move on
fair enough if the film was all just for shits and giggles I take it all back, I should have took more time in my initial feedback so again sorry, good luck with the next short!
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Post by Tom on Jun 26, 2008 8:21:54 GMT
I have to say, as a filmmaker who's had his movies booted in the nuts just as many times as he's had them praised, once you make your film public, it's gonna get comments you don't like. I don't think Gareth's point was that rough, but sure, if you're happy with your movie, cool. That's all that matters.
I think if you intercut the video clips, you know, a bit from guy 1, bit from guy 2, onto guy 3, back to guy 1, etc etc. It would improve the pace and it would be much better.
An audience always has the right to comment, even if it does sting a little. I'm not inviting open-season on us filmmakers. But when there's so much out there, trying to grab our attention, if it's not strong, why should we expect an anvil to be delivered in a silk glove?
I would take it on the chin, head back and recut it. You'd be surprised how good it could be.
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Post by shindig on Jun 26, 2008 9:01:35 GMT
The whole creative process is fueled by cricism.
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Post by Tom on Jun 26, 2008 9:20:47 GMT
The whole creative process is fueled by cricism. Correct. |
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Post by Dave on Jun 26, 2008 12:12:06 GMT
The whole creative process is fueled by cricism. Correct. Yes, but it can be done without lazy swearing. The swearing comments were just unnecessary. There's a chasm of difference between saying: "the first 1:30 is a complete waste of time and tells the audience fuck all about anything, the credits piss me off aswell" and "The first 1:30 of the film could probably be trimmed as it doesn't really aid the story-telling at all. The credits also feel too long." |
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Post by billywizz on Jun 26, 2008 12:29:25 GMT
what's your fucking point dave?
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