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Post by Live The Dream Productions on Sept 3, 2008 12:24:00 GMT
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Post by shindig on Sept 3, 2008 13:37:52 GMT
Good Lord, it's Pete from Dante Fires.
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Post by Gareth on Sept 3, 2008 18:35:15 GMT
what??? party??? jesus christ! well he lived up to his word "small party" if you call that a party! I was gonna write one of these films once from my experiences at uni, including the time I woke up realizing the night before we'd built a bonfire in the back garden and burnt our entire roads fences down, this whole film was incredibly bland and so so tame, a few cans and a kebab, thats the average mess round my mates flat with four of us round sorry if I sound like I'm trying to sound "hardcore" or something but any student worth their loan would have better tales to tell from parties than this, I understand you cant exactly kick holes in walls and pull doors off hinges for the sake of a film but come one... you can do better anyways I didn't bother making that film because I saw this: If your gonna do something dont do it by halves!!!  |
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Post by Dazza on Sept 3, 2008 19:59:55 GMT
This is going to really freak you out Will but that house you have filmed this film in is 14 Westend Close ;D
Now how do I know that you must wonder ;D
My brother lived there for 3 years and I've slept on both the sofa and the futon in the front room a few times haha. Also the bedroom you filmed in was my brothers old room. Fucking hell a small world ;D
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Post by Gareth on Sept 3, 2008 20:15:58 GMT
haha I sound like a right wanker in the above but I'll stand by it all the same
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Post by Tom on Sept 3, 2008 23:07:22 GMT
Hmm... Keep working on the screenplays and make the films shorter. Better than the last one, but still could do with some fresher ideas.
And I agree, it wasn't much of a party. Where was the neighbour banging on the door at 4am to punch one of the flatmates in the nose for dancing around to 'Jump Around'? Where was the impromptu bar set up in the living room? Where was the nervy flatmate, paranoid about his stuff getting wrecked during the party? Where was the boring guy talking about Star Wars as you queued up for the loo whilst your mate snogged the girl you were chatting up before you got stuck with the geek? And as far as the morning after... Well, I've been to wakes that were more raucous than that. Definitely half-way to what you COULD do, but then, I can see you're still playing with ideas, so push yourself a little more and really question if it's really funny. Comedy is really hard to get right, but you have to take the risks to get there. I think it was a good idea, but missing a lot of it's potential. I would advise re-doing it but with real anecdotes providing the framework for the script.
And as far as a guy waking up with 'COCK' on his head, well, that's dull. When you've seen your friends wake up with a hand superglued to their nuts or all their clothes cut to ribbons, a face scrawl doesn't work. Be more extreme with it and it'll really work.
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Post by Gareth on Sept 4, 2008 0:06:01 GMT
this film stuck in my mind tonight,
I started thinking to myself why don't I write one
and then Richard E Grant drinking lighter fluid sprung to mind
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Post by Gareth on Sept 4, 2008 0:10:46 GMT
and just one more thing
structure???
imagine how you tell anecdotes to friends to make them more interesting, a film called the morning after certainly shouldn't have been linear
but saying all this I've got alot of respect for you having 4 shorts under your belt, keep going! but maybe make the next one as simple as you possibly can, seems like your not giving the writing process enough thought
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Post by Dave on Sept 4, 2008 20:06:11 GMT
Some good bits, but I agree that most bits were pretty weak.
First up, I would say that poo-poo and sick jokes have to be pretty bloody inventive if they are ever going to get a laugh from anyone other than your mates.
I have made some comedy stuff before, and I have found that you have to find a balance between making something that you find funny yourself, and being aware of what other people may think is rubbish.
Comedy is entirely subjective obviously, but putting yourself in the position of a viewer who doesn't know you and then re-appraising your own work from that perspective is very useful.
It would have benefited from a more savage edit. The pace was too slow for the amount of content.
Hope you take all the comments on here as the helpful constructive criticisms they clearly are.
There seems to be less 'beating about the bush' with regards to criticism on the Film-Making board of late..... and I think it is something of a good thing. Everyone on here is just trying to help everyone else get better at what they are doing.
Pete of Dante Fires!? But "What's the burning issue?" shindig?
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Post by shindig on Sept 5, 2008 10:15:37 GMT
"You've gotta laugh when you fall off a sofa!"
It's mostly weak, yes. The spectacled fellow seemed to put in a canny enough shift, though. It all felt too dragged out and bland.
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Post by Live The Dream Productions on Sept 12, 2008 1:41:09 GMT
Cheers for all the comments.
Sorry it wasn't as extreme as some of you may of hoped, it wasn't based on my uni experiences. The whole party thing was an excuse for the dialogue that takes place the next day...
Anyway, thanks for watching.
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Post by Dave on Sept 12, 2008 2:12:26 GMT
Cheers for all the comments. Sorry it wasn't as extreme as some of you may of hoped, it wasn't based on my uni experiences. The whole party thing was an excuse for the dialogue that takes place the next day... Anyway, thanks for watching. Ha ha... I never did quite understand what all the one-upmanship was about earlier in the thread with regards to 'happening' parties. Just sound like a bunch of animals to me.  "I once dunned a party right where we pissed into the kettle and shat in some tupperware and put it in the freezer. Yeah right, then we ignited some local pets and wore their flaming corpses on our heads and re-enacted some scenes from Gladiator right. But the genius bit was, we all had our cocks out and had painted them with marmite. Then we had a vomiting competition to see who could drink the most self-induced vomit from all the other people at the party... and what was classic about that was, we spiked the puke with absinthe. This lead to Barney running out into the street in nothing but a bra to punch up some disabled kids who were coming back from a day at Chessington World of Adventures, and he did that while chanting the theme tune to the A-Team in the style of a rugby based stag do. But he was only punching the kids in the wheelchairs and doing the A-Team theme ironically like.... he's a not a twat! ....and that's a quiet night in for us bunch of c***s!" ;D |
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Post by RydCook on Sept 12, 2008 16:09:36 GMT
Cheers for all the comments. Sorry it wasn't as extreme as some of you may of hoped, it wasn't based on my uni experiences. The whole party thing was an excuse for the dialogue that takes place the next day... Anyway, thanks for watching. Ha ha... I never did quite understand what all the one-upmanship was about earlier in the thread with regards to 'happening' parties. Just sound like a bunch of animals to me. "I once dunned a party right where we pissed into the kettle and shat in some tupperware and put it in the freezer. Yeah right, then we ignited some local pets and wore their flaming corpses on our heads and re-enacted some scenes from Gladiator right. But the genius bit was, we all had our cocks out and had painted them with marmite. Then we had a vomiting competition to see who could drink the most self-induced vomit from all the other people at the party... and what was classic about that was, we spiked the puke with absinthe. This lead to Barney running out into the street in nothing but a bra to punch up some disabled kids who were coming back from a day at Chessington World of Adventures, and he did that while chanting the theme tune to the A-Team in the style of a rugby based stag do. But he was only punching the kids in the wheelchairs and doing the A-Team theme ironically like.... he's a not a twat! ....and that's a quiet night in for us bunch of c***s!" ;D ;D You're a funny man Dave. Now a film about a character who spoke of, and was proud of doing this sort of thing, would be very funny. Shocking too! Ha ha. I might make it. You write it Dave. Sorry, I didn't watch the film Willbigballs, I think you've had a lot of good feedback anyway. |
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Post by Dave on Sept 12, 2008 18:02:15 GMT
Now a film about a character who spoke of, and was proud of doing this sort of thing, would be very funny. Shocking too! Ha ha. I might make it. You write it Dave. Sorry, I didn't watch the film Willbigballs, I think you've had a lot of good feedback anyway. Are you serious? I think I like the idea of writing something for someone else to make. What kind of concept? Are you thinking a kind of documentary affair where it's just the cam with the cam operator talking to the character? Man With No Name style? |
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Post by RydCook on Sept 13, 2008 14:56:13 GMT
Now a film about a character who spoke of, and was proud of doing this sort of thing, would be very funny. Shocking too! Ha ha. I might make it. You write it Dave. Sorry, I didn't watch the film Willbigballs, I think you've had a lot of good feedback anyway. Are you serious? I think I like the idea of writing something for someone else to make. What kind of concept? Are you thinking a kind of documentary affair where it's just the cam with the cam operator talking to the character? Man With No Name style? I am very serious. I like the idea of someone else writing something for me to make! ;D Yeah Doco style like you say. Email me to discuss Dave, so we don't hijack the thread. rydcook@gmail.com I think I have a good person in mind to play the role as well... |
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