THE SAUSAGE HUSTLE OF 91!
Mar 31, 2008 12:01:29 GMT
Post by shanemeadows on Mar 31, 2008 12:01:29 GMT
As I have had a fair few inquiries about the 'Vegetarian Sausage Scam' of late, I have decided to finally share it with you and lift a great burden from my shoulders after keeping it secret for 17 years!
The great Veggie banger scam dates back to Burton Technical College in 1991...
Basically, I asked a girl out who was on the art foundation course and her reply was 'Are you vegetarian?'. I of course said 'yes' and she agreed to go out with me saying 'I could never kiss someone who had just eaten meat'.
To begin with, I did actually try not to eat meat but a few days seeing Paddy eating Sausage and Crinkle cut chips in the canteen sent me over the edge and an dark alliance was formed.
Basically, I would go to the canteen, sit with me Veggie mrs having Cheese and Potato pie in full view of everyone. Then after about 20 mins I would leave for the loo or suchlike and would go and wait at the back of the college down an alleyway. A few moments later paddy would come round the corner with a sausage sandwich on a pure white plate and I would inhale it, Leave the plate on the ever growing pile of plates on the floor, swill my mouth out in the loos and go back to the canteen for a mint tea with the mrs!
It worked for many weeks but alas I was caught in my alleyway of pork/plates by her as she had gotten suspicious. She caught me in full hoover mode with a cheap banger hanging out of my mouth and a pile of 20 plates all covered in evidence, by my tiny feet. Quite Surprisingly, she didn't end it, but chose to get me back by two timing me with a guy called Dean some weeks later.
Sorry Lynne, It was my glands!
The great Veggie banger scam dates back to Burton Technical College in 1991...
Basically, I asked a girl out who was on the art foundation course and her reply was 'Are you vegetarian?'. I of course said 'yes' and she agreed to go out with me saying 'I could never kiss someone who had just eaten meat'.
To begin with, I did actually try not to eat meat but a few days seeing Paddy eating Sausage and Crinkle cut chips in the canteen sent me over the edge and an dark alliance was formed.
Basically, I would go to the canteen, sit with me Veggie mrs having Cheese and Potato pie in full view of everyone. Then after about 20 mins I would leave for the loo or suchlike and would go and wait at the back of the college down an alleyway. A few moments later paddy would come round the corner with a sausage sandwich on a pure white plate and I would inhale it, Leave the plate on the ever growing pile of plates on the floor, swill my mouth out in the loos and go back to the canteen for a mint tea with the mrs!
It worked for many weeks but alas I was caught in my alleyway of pork/plates by her as she had gotten suspicious. She caught me in full hoover mode with a cheap banger hanging out of my mouth and a pile of 20 plates all covered in evidence, by my tiny feet. Quite Surprisingly, she didn't end it, but chose to get me back by two timing me with a guy called Dean some weeks later.
Sorry Lynne, It was my glands!
Love that story - excellent stuff!